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The jury’s deliberation has ended. What’s the verdict? Apparently, as was alluded by two people during two separate conversations this week, I am “guilty on all counts of approaching life pessimistically.” But, am I really? Well, you be the judge.
At work this week, somebody copped a ‘tude, was downright rude to a colleague and ended the brief war by walking out. Nothin’ like a little office drama to spark some good conversation, right?
“I expect to be respected by everybody,” one co-worker said.
“Look at the society we’re living in,” I replied. “I don’t expect much from anyone.”
WEEE-OOOO, WEEE-OOOO, WEEE-OOOO! I could almost hear the sirens. Somebody called the pessimist police. And with disappointed sighs and downtrodden eyes, she gently scolded me. But I’ve gotta tell ya…I don’t believe that in this realm, I’m approaching life pessimistically. I do believe I’m approaching it realistically, and in my opinion, that’s the way to go. Especially as a college student, I am bombarded almost daily with a flood of philosophies alternative to the ones I embrace. Even without such a prevalent example, I’d still be able to see that not everyone’s lives revolve around the same principles mine does. And that’s why I don’t expect much. If I approached life under the assumption that everyone I encounter embraces what I embrace (i.e. the importance of respect for others, in this case), I’d be setting myself up for shock. In truth, I will be disrespected multiple times (and when it happens, I won’t be too caught off guard to handle the situation appropriately).
Take romantic relationships, for another example. Am I pessimistically passing up potential opportunities because I won’t date a guy if I already see a reason I wouldn’t want to be in a long term relationship with him; because I won’t enter a relationship with a guy if I already see a reason I wouldn’t be able to marry him? I don’t think I am, no. I’m realistically recognizing that some romantic relationships aren’t reasonable. If I refused to accept that some shouldn’t move past the hypothetical stage (tempting though they may be) , I’d be setting myself up for heartache.
Accepting these things realistically is not the same as expecting them pessimistically. And making a realistic effort to at least minimize the shock or heartache you’ll have to experience from time to time is not the same as running from the inevitable. Without a doubt, if you’re a human on Earth, you already know you will be bummed from time to time due to circumstances beyond your control. That’s life. But it’s a little absurd, if you ask me, to set yourself up for even more of it.
I think (and I’m speaking generally, here) that a lot of us are disillusioned. There is a fine line, which once crossed, can convert one’s optimism into one’s rejection of reality. Best start believin’ in the real world – you’re in it.
